Have you heard this before? It is the new statement of choice for myself, my husband and kids when life happens. There seems have been so many events that have occured lately that appear troublesome. They are all temporary but at the time do not feel that way. And some are not expected and some are a fullfillment of exactly what was feared. In the end, it doesn’t matter. The events are just events. Only we assign the meaning to them. When it is through the lens of “Why did this happen TO me?” , then the meaning is tainted in victimhood. We lose any power that we have over learning from the event, transforming the event, or letting it be.
When we choose to believe that something happens FOR us, then that is something we can work with. I practiced and did everything the coach told me to do, but I still didn’t get in the game. I nailed the interview but didn’t get the job. My boyfriend broke up with me or my husband wants a divorce. I just found out that I have a serious illness even though I eat well and take care of myself. These are all examples of really hard situations to face. Asking what is in it FOR us takes the sting out of it. Sometimes the answer is apparent and sometimes it takes a long time for us to be ready to see the value/purpose or lesson. Sometimes it simply eases the resistance towards what is happening.
When my business was failing, I couldn’t see why it was happening TO me. I thought I had done all of my research on how to run a private practice. I chose good minded business partners. I worked my tail off. I built a practice that held meaning and served others well. But I wasn’t making any money. I attributed it to my faults, failures and inability to be a good business woman. How very victim-y of me. In hind sight, I gained the most valuable tools to bring to my next life adventure and for parenting. Why did it have to be a lesson through near financial failure. Not sure. But it sure did get my attention! money can do that.
In any case, I am committed to reminding myself that events happen FOR me. I like the feeling it gives me to remember that. Whether I am ready for the lesson is another story but at least I am trying. Sometimes the best gifts are ones we never asked for or ones we never thought we would want.