As a physical therapist, one of the more popular utterances by the older kids that I see is that “but it’s hard”. My standard responses are one of 3 comments:
“Good, that means I am doing my job”
“If (said activity) was easy, you wouldn’t be here working with me”
But my favorite is “Yep, and you can do hard things!”
I find it interesting that the implication when” it is hard “is expressed is that (said activity) should be stopped immediately and that I am ridiculous to expect otherwise. Very rarely, if ever, does the activity stop. The kids need to know what they are capable of, not what they think they are capable of.
I say the same thing to my own children and myself all the time. A task, skill, homework, sport, etc …SHOULD have hard moments. This is when great problem solving is developed and growth occurs. Hard things are perspective changers. I have witnessed countless children with cerebral palsy or other neurological disorders take their first steps even though it was the hardest thing they have ever done. I have witness my son learn to block the big guy across from him after getting laid out 10 times. I have witness my daughter gain 4 inches on her vertical jump after months of hard training early in the AM. I have witnessed my youngest son learn to really say he is sorry when it was hard for him out of embarrassment.
I have witness kids do things that I hoped they could do but honestly, I kinda thought it was a long shot! The end result in all of these moments is pride, satisfaction, growth, love of self and others, and joy. But it also comes with some self doubt, anger, tears, resistance, failure and disappointment in the process. That’s how it goes.
And as I am writing this, I am thinking about how hard parenting is. I get so frustrated and upset with myself because it is hard. I think I blame myself for how hard it is, thinking it wouldn’t be hard if I was better. But I guess that means I need to remember what I just wrote and look to the growth, change in perspective, joy, and love of self and others that parenting fosters, especially when it is hard.
So to my kids in therapy, my rug rats, and myself….
We can do hard things. And we should.